Traveling Soon? How to Get Your Passport in One Day.

Need to get your passport in one day? Got a trip coming up… fast? I was in this position. Just a couple of years ago I was lucky enough to get a free trip to Israel. I packed, I learned some useful phrases in Hebrew (where is the bathroom, spare a smoke), I kept away from falafel for an entire month. And then, two nights before my flight as I lay in bed, I realized my passport had expired.

After peeling myself of the ceiling, doing some research and procuring a ride from a loyal friend - Thanks, Terry! - I was on my way to Philadelphia. A few very bureaucratic hours I was clutching a brand spanking new blue and gold symbol of my international autonomy… and you can too. Here’s how:

First, determine where you’re going to go. You can deal with the government itself, like I did, or you can go to an agency. Agencies will tell you they know the ins and outs, the finesse and that they make it easier. I say they exist to take your money and make you feel incompetent. You decide. The only real benefit to using an agency is that you don’t have to be there to do the work. Call 1-877-487-2778 to find the nearest office. You’ll get an appointment and confirmation number. Tattoo it somewhere visible.

Fill out the application clearly and completely. Government employees exist to see flawless forms. Give them that warm, fuzzy feeling to avoid missing your trip.

You’ll have to prove you’re leaving within two weeks. Not hard - have your e-ticket or paid itinerary. Simple.

You’ll have to prove you’re you. Not so simple. Just like Descartes couldn’t even prove to himself that he existed until he came up with ‘cogito ergo sum’ the government won’t believe you’re not an evil foreigner stealing state secrets until you bring them proof. What was suggested that I present? Birth certificate, old passport, driver’s license, social security card, elementary school records… I think that may be it. The first half of my day was spent trying to track down all the documents required. Seeing my old elementary school was bizarre.

Go to the bank. You’re going to need some cash. Whatever the cost of an expedited passport is, plus $60.

Be early. It’s good practice for the airport - security check, metal detector, bag search and tired officials. Then wait in line, give up your documents, wait some more and you’ll have your passport and the ability to leave the land of the free.